wife #2

In the mail today, Lon received his new heavy duty iphone4 case. I saw a glitter in his eye when I told him that it had arrived. That glitter that was once only reserved for me. Ever since he first got his iphone4, I’ve been spending more time talking to the top of his head than having direct eye contact. Once in a while, I would quickly ask him ‘who do you love more?’—just to see if he would slip up. He even hugged a complete male stranger the very moment he thought he was going to lay his hands on his new love. What were the red flags? Maybe the way he would freak out the moment he didn’t know the whereabouts of his phone, or maybe the way he used the house central vacuum system to suck out the dust from his new case because he insisted that the dust would one day crack the screen. I on the other hand, heard the vacuum sounds and was literally thinking this: “wow, he’s actually vacuuming the basement carpet with an injured back so I won’t have to do it later..strange but …wow.” I have been officially replaced and demoted to wife #2. Is there an App that can replace my husband?